Okay so I took a hiatus from my reading group...and I miss it like Woah. I just really enjoyed the group, the readings, and the weekly challenges. The weekly challenges though I have decided to continue with the great TanayaFuckingWinder. So we debated and debated about our challenge, but we settled on pushing our boundaries. For me, this meant being comfortable with and sitting with .... well myself and only myself. For Tanaya this meant the exact opposite... the end of hermitdom.
So this means that when Tanaya walks places she calls someone. For me it means I don't. For her it means coffee dates, dinner dates, and weekend plans. For me it means utter loneliness.. :P
Well at least thats what I imagined it to mean. So far I have two reflections....
One. My phone battery lasts WAAAAAAY longer. Thats a plus in my book, especially since I currently don't have a working phone charger.
Two. I want to learn to be more present. Even in my short little venture into loneliness...well I actually spent very little time alone, because I had a crazy busy day. But even through the busy day, I transitioned many times, and when normally I would pick up the phone, I opted not too and just sat with myself. It was in these moments, I thought this is nice being present. But I wasn't totally successful in fact at one point I was driving to my board meeting, thinking this is great learning to be present this is something I want more of in my life. I was thinking so hard about being present, I drove right past my turn, not just a little, but almost all the way into LaPorte. It was definitely my first lesson, teaching me that being present, also means not being consumed by your thoughts. It means being in the now. Focusing on what you are doing right then. I'm definitely going to be practicing this. I feel like i'm almost always present as a friend...I'm with you when I'm with you. It probably is about time that I started being with myself, when I'm with myself. Not to mention that I think this being present practice will probably also help with my slight problem...called obsession. I obsess about everything, re live, re imagine EVERYTHING. Being present being in the now, letting the past slip away and the future be, will help me stop obsessing. I hope at least.
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